I'm back and my head is spinning. I feel like the beginning line of "A Tale of Two Cities." "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times." I had a lot of fun and met a bunch of really nice people that I can truly call my friends. But...I cried a ton when I was there in Pattaya. It's difficult to see the people and surroundings, knowing that this is NOT the way it's supposed to be. I saw young women who thought this was their only hope of making enough money to support themselves and families. I saw children being groomed to become prostitutes when they sold bracelets and roses in the streets at night. I saw many western men with young Thai women walking hand in hand down the streets. The thing that I recognized most on the men was rejection. They had problems with relationships in their own countries with women and couldn't deal with it. So, they pretend to have girlfriends and real relationships while they're on vacation. The women they buy for the time they're in Thailand will accommodate. I was made aware of certain places in the city that catered to pedophiles. It makes my heart sick. These children have no voice. No safe place.
In spite of all this sadness, God has shown me beautiful things. The people are generous, friendly, and loving. There is hope for them. All is not lost. The place is not too dark to invade with His light.
I also learned that it's not about me. (I know. Go figure, right?) Even though I may not feel like talking to someone or going here or there, as long as I'm open to what God has to say to me, I'm good to go. I don't have to conjure up a special destiny word for someone's life. I don't have to stir myself up to feel "spiritual" for God to show up. He wants to encourage everyone in their lives. Just where they are. He wants to speak into their lives when they believe that no one even realizes that they are alive. God used me that way a couple of times when we were walking along the beach.
We had a breakneck schedule morning until bedtime. I was tired and feeling a bit yuck. Our plan was to walk along the beach and talk to the prostitutes and anyone else just loitering about. I honestly didn't feel like doing that. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep. But, I did go along and thought I would just pray in the background for the others that were engaging with people. Little did I know, God had a different plan. Our translator, Wei-Keng, was talking to a couple of women sitting on a mat. She called me over and said while pointing to one of the women, "She wants a word from God." I was thinking, "Ok, God. You have to show up and help me here. I've got nothin'." I started to pray and I instantly got a picture for her. (I'm trusting God that it actually meant something to her!) I finished and was just brushing the sweat off of my brow with relief, when Wei-Keng points to the other woman and says, "She's a palm reader. Speak into her life." I sat there for a second and told Wei-Keng that she needed to pray w/the lady to take some of the pressure off of me and to give me a minute. (I was thinking, nothing like being put on the spot, right?) As soon as she started to pray, I got a picture for the lady. Once again, I was thinking, thank God I'm done with that! I'm not one to just have words immediately for people. I have to get into that "place" where I can hear God freely, where I know that He's there. Well. He showed me that all I have to do is show up and listen. That's all. It's not about me looking like I have all the answers or being this super spiritual kind of person. I just need to be myself and trust that He'll come through. He has the answers for these people--I don't. But it's up to us to pass that info along because they need it.
Thanks for the prayers, guys. I could tell that they made a huge difference. Until next time...blessings.