Finished With The Homestudy

Well, our final homestudy visit was completed a couple of days ago.  I feel relieved to have that part behind us.  Although, I was told to ask our adoption agency about the child abuse clearances that we may need for every place that we've lived since age 18.  Whoa.  I was praying that it wouldn't be needed.  Rob and I both joined the Army when we were 18, got married at 19 and proceeded to live around the world.  We are now 45 and Rob retired from the Army after 23 yrs.  You do the math.  There are seven places that we now need clearances, including two foreign countries.  Stress.  Not only will we need to pay for each clearance, we have to do the homework to figure out WHERE to apply.  >:{
Being the researcher that I am, I got busy.  I made the list of places, went to a clearinghouse website and foraged for whatever info I could, and printed, called, left messages and stressed some more.  What the heck?!  I know God told us to adopt from Thailand. But.  Do you think that MAYBE He could change His mind?  At this point, Rob came into the library of no books (also known as the computer room) rubbed my shoulders and said, "Take a break."  I struggled with the whole thing.  
I got an e-mail from someone at the adoption agency asking (again) if we have considered adopting from China.  They know we want a boy with Down Syndrome and evidently there are several boys available for adoption in China.  But, China's fees are almost double the amount of Thailand's fees.  AND we would still be required to do the same things since Thailand and China are both Hague countries. *pphhtt*
I took a good look at the information that I have.  I found out from the State Department that South Korea and Germany don't have child abuse registries, so there are two less places we need to get clearance.  *wipes brow*
And this morning during my quiet time I was talking with God about my feelings.  I was having a hard time and this was frustrating.  Why does this have to be so hard?  I heard myself complaining and stopped.  I realize now that this isn't going to be the most difficult thing that I ever experience. (I know that He'll give me the grace to get through anything.)  Do what you have to do--one step at a time. Do it little by little.  Then I heard Him clearly: This is going to be worth it.  Jackson is worth it.
All I could do was sob.  
My meditation for the morning was this:
Psalm 36:7-9
How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God!
  Therefore the children of men put their
     trust under the shadow of Your wings.
They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness
     of Your house,
   And You give them drink from the river of
      Your pleasures.
For with You is the fountain of life;
   In Your light we see light.


Blessings.