Us (minus our oldest 2)

Us (minus our oldest 2)

Thursday, April 25, 2013

The End of The Line

As I write this post, we have five days left until the end of the line.  After talking with our agency, we knew that we would have until April 30th to find a match.  Because we decided not to renew our Immigration paperwork, there would be just enough time to travel with our current paperwork if we were matched by the end of April.  Honestly, I'm not holding my breath. No news is not good news. I'm sad.  I'm disappointed.  But.  Three years is more than enough time to find a child without a home.  I'm tired of living in limbo.
After April 30th, we move onto plan B.
Probably, more to follow.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Decided

After a heart wrenching struggle, we've decided to finally put a timeline to our process.  I've gone back and forth about changing countries for the adoption.  It just isn't feasible to switch from a financial point of view.  I don't want to be stressing about coming up with another $15,000 or so.  I know what I heard God tell me.  I don't want to "make it happen" on my own.  I know He has a plan.  But...I can't go on having it all open ended.  We've decided to wait until our paperwork expires (7/13.)  That's the deadline. If we get matched before then, I know I've waited it out without mixing my fingers into it.  If nothing happens before it expires, then I know I've waited it out without mixing my fingers into it.
After choosing to do this, I feel such relief.  No more never ending tunnel.  There is light and I'm fine with whatever is at the other end.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

When you're not sure what to do, just keep doing the last thing that God said for you to do.

Here we are--still.  We have since completed the biometric fingerprints for all of us "adults" (and I use that term loosely.)  The homestudy is updated.  We've been in contact with our agency and have been told, "It doesn't look as if there are any boys w/Down Syndrome available right now.  Be prepared for a wait, since it doesn't look like there will be any available for quite some time."  I was, once again, encouraged to look to the China adoption program.  Once again, I struggled with switching.  
I cried, I pouted, I stamped my foot.  "I don't know if I can do this for three years," I cried.  "If I had known that we'd be in this situation, this far into to it, I never would have applied for Thailand," I said.  After going back and forth and not knowing what to do, I called my friend Amy.  As always, she's a supportive ear.  She asked, "What is the Lord telling you?"  I replied, "Absolutely nothing."  I wanted to do what's "right" for us, but I also didn't want to be disobedient to God. "What do you always tell me?"  I had forgotten what I always tell her...
When you're not sure what you should do, go back to the last thing that you know that you heard from God.  Do that until you hear otherwise.  So the last thing that I know that I know that I know is this: adopt a little boy w/Down Syndrome from Thailand. Don't settle for something "good" when you can have God's "best."  So we wait.  And if we're still in the wait mode come January, our three year mark, I'm pretty sure that it won't be fatal to me.  God is God and I am not.